My son's memorial service is today.
I don't do well with this sort of thing.
I know people who do.
I guess we were protected from death-related matters when we were children/young adults and thus a fear of it all built in me and my siblings and we never learned how to cope with it. I worry about crying too much, or not enough. I worry about someone saying something insensitive to me, like they did at my mom's funeral. ("Why is there a closed casket?") Mom had issues with her kidneys that, without getting too graphic, didn't allow her to look as she normally looked. She would have wanted it that way. But people, being people, asked over and over and over. I was polite and so were all my family members...but I'm afraid if someone asks me that type of question now...being the old, jaded, not-afraid-to-speak-my-mind sort...I'll be rude! Jon asked to be cremated...I know there will be people who will ask "Why wasn't there a viewing?" Things were done exactly as was his wish, but I'm afraid that won't be all I'll say to anyone insensitive enough to ask.
I just hope I can bite my old jaded tongue!
Ginni - my heart and prayers are with you. Hang in there; most people just forget their manners (if they ever had any), and I think it's out of nervousness sometimes, but they love you and Jon just the same. I hope it's not too bad and that they just keep their mouths shut and love on you.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about how much you do or don't cry - just go with how you are feeling and get through the day. Andy will be there tonight and you can collapse with him.
I love you.
XOXO
I love you too Gin and I hope you feel all of us in your pocket today.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably too late for this, but at the few funerals I've been to recently there always seems to be some kind of poster set up with pictures and memories. Maybe you could make some kind of photo board and write on it that everything has been done according to Jon's wishes, so people can read that and maybe not ask you.
Ginni - I cared for my brother until his death (in my arms) and then I followed his wishes and had his body cremated and buried at sea. WITHOUT a funeral (his choice again). All the relatives were pist because there was no "viewing" so they couldn't have "closure". You know what I told them? You weren't there for the illness, you don't need closure on the death. Just deal with it.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I wish I could be there with you today. I've been dreading this day for you. God bless you and know that I'll be thinking of you today.
Funerals do strange things to people, they do and say things they would normally not. I hope everyone behaves themselves for your sake today.
ReplyDeleteLike Jackie said, we're all in your pocket, there with you. Think about how much we all love you. Draw us around you like a protective shield.
Love you -
fiwa
Ginni, I hope that God's grace will flow through you and help you be gracious even in these moments of stress and ill-timed remarks and uncomfortable questions. My prayers are with you today on this hard day. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteAh, GinMyLove, I know you are o.k.
ReplyDeletePeople just do not know how to deal with death or what to say. But you are just amazing and I know things went just as they were meant to go today. And I know Jon is at Peace.
Sending you all of my Love and Prayers, Ginni.
J.
xoxoxoxo
I hope it was a peaceful service. I hope your finding peace. Sending you much love dear.
ReplyDeleteXO
You're not alone in your feelings. I've never 'done' funerals well either. Plus, I think since this was for your child...that makes it even harder. I'm so,so sorry Ginni. My thoughts are with you and yours.
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